mindless drivel
Thursday, May 25, 2006
ode to lost
Lost
Is a show on ABC
But it's still on
It wasn't canceled
Like Sons & Daughters
Lost
Is about some people
Who crashed
Onto an island
But there's other stuff that goes on, too
Like when that one guy won the lottery
But it might have just been all in his head
Because he's insane
Lost
Aired its season finale last night
So if this kind of show interests you
You're going to have to wait until the fall
To watch it
Unless you want to spend a lot of money
On the DVDs
Lost
Is a pretty good show
But it's not my favorite
That would be 24
But I still like Lost
Especially since 24 won't be back
Until January 2007
Lost
Has inspired me to
Come up with all sorts of outlandish theories
About what's really going on
Like that the dog is really the devil
And he's controlling people's minds
Because he's mean like that
Lost
Has something to do with a fake company
Called The Hanso Foundation
That advertises on the show
And makes us go to fake web sites
That tell us to buy Jeeps and drink Sprite
But a fake executive
For the fake company
Told the real Jimmy Kimmel
That The Hanso Foundation
Has nothing to do with the show
Lost
Lost
Sometimes creeps out my wife
Like when that guy with the beard
Showed up and said:
"Just give us the boy"
At the end of season one
Lost
Often describes me
When I try to understand
What in the world
Is going on in the show
Lost ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/25/2006 1 comments
Is a show on ABC
But it's still on
It wasn't canceled
Like Sons & Daughters
Lost
Is about some people
Who crashed
Onto an island
But there's other stuff that goes on, too
Like when that one guy won the lottery
But it might have just been all in his head
Because he's insane
Lost
Aired its season finale last night
So if this kind of show interests you
You're going to have to wait until the fall
To watch it
Unless you want to spend a lot of money
On the DVDs
Lost
Is a pretty good show
But it's not my favorite
That would be 24
But I still like Lost
Especially since 24 won't be back
Until January 2007
Lost
Has inspired me to
Come up with all sorts of outlandish theories
About what's really going on
Like that the dog is really the devil
And he's controlling people's minds
Because he's mean like that
Lost
Has something to do with a fake company
Called The Hanso Foundation
That advertises on the show
And makes us go to fake web sites
That tell us to buy Jeeps and drink Sprite
But a fake executive
For the fake company
Told the real Jimmy Kimmel
That The Hanso Foundation
Has nothing to do with the show
Lost
Lost
Sometimes creeps out my wife
Like when that guy with the beard
Showed up and said:
"Just give us the boy"
At the end of season one
Lost
Often describes me
When I try to understand
What in the world
Is going on in the show
Lost ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/25/2006 1 comments
Friday, May 19, 2006
piet mondrian, straight line extraordinaire
An art critic I ain't, so I'll just start by saying that. But given recent events, I felt I had to chime in on, you guessed it, Piet Mondrian.
Here's a guy who painted for 36 years, from 1908-1944. And yet, as far as I can tell, in all that time, the only thing he ever painted were straight, black lines with red, yellow, and blue rectangles. That's it. But this is not my only criticism of Mondrian's work. Read on, fool!
Mondrian did not give his paintings creative titles either. For example, one of his more clever titles was "Composition No. 10." If a painting of a series of black lines and primary-colored rectangles were called something like "Soulless Cat Playing Snooker in Madrid," it might trick me into thinking it probably had some deeper meaning that I am just too shallow to understand. Why not just hang up a blank canvas and call it "Composition in White"?
My next complaint is that Mondrian painted during some of the most tumultuous times in the history of the world, yet he apparently had nothing worthwhile to say about any of it. Surely he had some comment about World Wars One and Two, The Great Depression, or the birth of Bill Cosby. Heck, isn't this the stuff that "art" is all about? Nope, it's about lines and rectangles.
Next, consider that some of these paintings took as many as seven years to complete. I will concede that these were painted in a time when masking tape was not widely available; therefore, straight lines were a little more difficult to paint. But beyond that I don't understand how these things could have taken so long. One thing's for sure, I won't be so quick to complain about waiting five years for that new Nine Inch Nails CD.
I guess some of the paintings are kind of cool looking, in the same way that some building in Dallas called The Mondrian is kind of cool looking. But I doubt I'd spend a lot of money to buy one of his paintings, just like I wouldn't spend a lot of money to buy a condo in The Mondrian. Especially when I could make my own "Piet Mondrian" painting with $25 worth of supplies purchased at The Home Depot. I could hang it on the wall in my condo, which I also built with $25 worth of supplies purchased at The Home Depot.
The name of my art is "Soulless Cat Playing Snooker in Madrid." ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/19/2006 0 comments
Here's a guy who painted for 36 years, from 1908-1944. And yet, as far as I can tell, in all that time, the only thing he ever painted were straight, black lines with red, yellow, and blue rectangles. That's it. But this is not my only criticism of Mondrian's work. Read on, fool!
Mondrian did not give his paintings creative titles either. For example, one of his more clever titles was "Composition No. 10." If a painting of a series of black lines and primary-colored rectangles were called something like "Soulless Cat Playing Snooker in Madrid," it might trick me into thinking it probably had some deeper meaning that I am just too shallow to understand. Why not just hang up a blank canvas and call it "Composition in White"?
My next complaint is that Mondrian painted during some of the most tumultuous times in the history of the world, yet he apparently had nothing worthwhile to say about any of it. Surely he had some comment about World Wars One and Two, The Great Depression, or the birth of Bill Cosby. Heck, isn't this the stuff that "art" is all about? Nope, it's about lines and rectangles.
Next, consider that some of these paintings took as many as seven years to complete. I will concede that these were painted in a time when masking tape was not widely available; therefore, straight lines were a little more difficult to paint. But beyond that I don't understand how these things could have taken so long. One thing's for sure, I won't be so quick to complain about waiting five years for that new Nine Inch Nails CD.
I guess some of the paintings are kind of cool looking, in the same way that some building in Dallas called The Mondrian is kind of cool looking. But I doubt I'd spend a lot of money to buy one of his paintings, just like I wouldn't spend a lot of money to buy a condo in The Mondrian. Especially when I could make my own "Piet Mondrian" painting with $25 worth of supplies purchased at The Home Depot. I could hang it on the wall in my condo, which I also built with $25 worth of supplies purchased at The Home Depot.
The name of my art is "Soulless Cat Playing Snooker in Madrid." ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/19/2006 0 comments
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
ode to sons & daughters
Sons & Daughters
Was a TV show
It was on ABC
But now it's not anymore
Network executives thought people preferred
According To Jim.
Sons & Daughters
Was written
By a guy named Fred
And also some other guy I think.
Sons & Daughters
Took on American Idol
But apparently people liked crappy singing
And sarcastic, rude British judges who insult people
Better than the "O-face" guy from Office Space.
Sons & Daughters
Made me laugh and cry
Well okay not cry so much
But it was still pretty touching.
Hey, you calling me a sissy?
Sons & Daughters
Was brought to us
By Lorne Michaels I think
But not by the letter C or the number 8.
Sons & Daughters
Had "partially improvised dialog"
Which I think means they made it up on the spot
But it wasn't live or anything
So they could still edit out stuff
If it didn't end up being that funny.
Sons & Daughters
Made me believe again
In the goodness of mankind
And the importance of hard work
And the willingness to take a chance.
Sons & Daughters
We'll miss you,
But hey at least we still have
Hope & Faith. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/16/2006 0 comments
Was a TV show
It was on ABC
But now it's not anymore
Network executives thought people preferred
According To Jim.
Sons & Daughters
Was written
By a guy named Fred
And also some other guy I think.
Sons & Daughters
Took on American Idol
But apparently people liked crappy singing
And sarcastic, rude British judges who insult people
Better than the "O-face" guy from Office Space.
Sons & Daughters
Made me laugh and cry
Well okay not cry so much
But it was still pretty touching.
Hey, you calling me a sissy?
Sons & Daughters
Was brought to us
By Lorne Michaels I think
But not by the letter C or the number 8.
Sons & Daughters
Had "partially improvised dialog"
Which I think means they made it up on the spot
But it wasn't live or anything
So they could still edit out stuff
If it didn't end up being that funny.
Sons & Daughters
Made me believe again
In the goodness of mankind
And the importance of hard work
And the willingness to take a chance.
Sons & Daughters
We'll miss you,
But hey at least we still have
Hope & Faith. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/16/2006 0 comments
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
monger187's quotable words of wisdom
- If your name is Sammy Davis, I bet it's really tempting to name your first son Sammy Davis, Jr.
- I'm easily the most humble person I know.
- I think probably the scariest thing in the world would be a clown with a bazooka.
- Is the glass half empty or half full? Well it's obvious that the glass is--hey wait, I didn't order a Diet Coke!
- I have a love-hate relationship with my car: I hate my car and would love to have a different one.
- If a tree falls on a mime, he may or may not make a sound, but isn't it refreshing just to know that it happened?
- If there's one thing we've learned from the 1950's it's how to accurately predict the future. Seriously, those guys were dead-on!
- Try as I may, I can't imagine being any more optimistic than I am right now.
- I think one of life's greatest mysteries is who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Superman.
- If you're taking a test and you don't know the answer, "The Battle of Trenton" is always a good guess. If it's an essay test, just write a few sentences about The Battle of Trenton.
- Being up a creek without a paddle is not such a bad thing if you're in a motorboat.
- Sure, it sounds like it would be entertaining to lock a mime and a blind person alone in a room for a few hours, but trust me, it's not.
- If ducks were pink, there would probably be no reason whatsoever to have flamingos.
- One of those things you just never forget is your first experience with a Whoopee Cushion.
- If I could control your mind, I would make you think that you wanted to have enchiladas for dinner. And also, that you're buying.
- I'm not normally one to question God, but I really don't understand why He invented mosquitoes.
- If life hands you lemons, make lemonade; but if life hands you prunes, please don't make prune juice, because that stuff is nasty!
- If there are only two things I know in life, one is that ice cream is delicious. The other is that it sure sucks to only know two things.
- If I had to describe the most annoying possible thing, it would probably be a small, barking dog listening to a Nickelback CD.
- Of all the things the government is lying to us about, probably the most disturbing is that there are "only" 50 states.
Monday, May 01, 2006
visitor 12,639 right around the corner
I can't tell you how excited I am that mindless drivel is so close to surpassing the 12,639 visitor milestone. It's taken a lot of hard work and dedication, along with a lot of visiting my site myself and convincing my wife and at least one of my friends to go every day just to artificially inflate the number of visitors to my site. Also, I wrote some stuff and apparently every once in a while the stuff I wrote has some words in it that come up in a Google or Yahoo! search, so people come here by accident when they are trying to find useful information about Dat Nguyen's wife or the proper spelling of the past tense of "cancel."
However you came here, if you are visitor 12,639, can you please comment or send me an email or something? There's probably nothing in it for you, but I might send you a personal email or something, and getting an email from a big time Internet celebrity like me is nothing to sneeze at. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/01/2006 0 comments
However you came here, if you are visitor 12,639, can you please comment or send me an email or something? There's probably nothing in it for you, but I might send you a personal email or something, and getting an email from a big time Internet celebrity like me is nothing to sneeze at. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/01/2006 0 comments
