Wednesday, May 03, 2006
monger187's quotable words of wisdom
- If your name is Sammy Davis, I bet it's really tempting to name your first son Sammy Davis, Jr.
- I'm easily the most humble person I know.
- I think probably the scariest thing in the world would be a clown with a bazooka.
- Is the glass half empty or half full? Well it's obvious that the glass is--hey wait, I didn't order a Diet Coke!
- I have a love-hate relationship with my car: I hate my car and would love to have a different one.
- If a tree falls on a mime, he may or may not make a sound, but isn't it refreshing just to know that it happened?
- If there's one thing we've learned from the 1950's it's how to accurately predict the future. Seriously, those guys were dead-on!
- Try as I may, I can't imagine being any more optimistic than I am right now.
- I think one of life's greatest mysteries is who would win in a fight between Godzilla and Superman.
- If you're taking a test and you don't know the answer, "The Battle of Trenton" is always a good guess. If it's an essay test, just write a few sentences about The Battle of Trenton.
- Being up a creek without a paddle is not such a bad thing if you're in a motorboat.
- Sure, it sounds like it would be entertaining to lock a mime and a blind person alone in a room for a few hours, but trust me, it's not.
- If ducks were pink, there would probably be no reason whatsoever to have flamingos.
- One of those things you just never forget is your first experience with a Whoopee Cushion.
- If I could control your mind, I would make you think that you wanted to have enchiladas for dinner. And also, that you're buying.
- I'm not normally one to question God, but I really don't understand why He invented mosquitoes.
- If life hands you lemons, make lemonade; but if life hands you prunes, please don't make prune juice, because that stuff is nasty!
- If there are only two things I know in life, one is that ice cream is delicious. The other is that it sure sucks to only know two things.
- If I had to describe the most annoying possible thing, it would probably be a small, barking dog listening to a Nickelback CD.
- Of all the things the government is lying to us about, probably the most disturbing is that there are "only" 50 states.
