scroll down My blog is messed up. For some reason there is a huge expanse of gray where there should be a huge expanse of clever, witty words. It happened the moment I posted the thing about the antidepressants. I think maybe it was some sort of symbolism or something. You know, like if you're feeling particularly gray, you should take some antidepressants, or something like that. Or maybe Blogger just decided that my blog was so far superior to its "competition" that it had to do something to even the playing field.

Whatever the case, I think I need to try to fix it. Or perhaps I can just title every post "scroll down." Or I can have variations on the theme. Next post will be "see below," followed by "click on yer dadgum down arrow," then "put your finger on the scrolly-wheel thingy and slide on down a little bit." Yeah, that would be pretty lame. Let's just hope it fixes itself, because who has time to mess with templates these days? If I had time to mess with my template, do you think I would have a gray background in the first place?  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 6/28/2005 0 comments

  daily mind bender What do you think is the opposite of a depressant? I'd say an antidepressant, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though, it's a stimulant.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 6/27/2005 0 comments

  cinematic analysis In typical social gatherings, conversation will invariably settle on one of two topics: the trend toward increases in domestic interest rates and its subsequent effects on the global economy, or debate over what is the greatest Adam Sandler movie of all time. In the case of the latter, many people feel strongly that his best performance was Happy Gilmore.

However, I implore you to consider one of the great cinematic performances of our day, Billy Madison. How could one hold the opinion that Gilmore is the superior film when Madison delights viewers with such classic lines as "You know I like Snack Pack, why don't you just give me a Snack Pack!?!?!" and "Telly-hoo-hoo! Sabba-doo!"?

True, Gilmore does feature a stirring performance by one Bob Barker, but this does nothing to make up for a lackluster showing by Ben Stiller, whose most memorable line, "You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!!" is delivered with charisma and flair, but ultimately leaves viewers wondering if his portrayal of the evil nursing home attendant is indeed his best effort.

However, Sandler's on-screen chemistry with fellow former Saturday Night Live alum Norm McDonald in Madison shows itself in such classic dialog as:

McDonald: Where's Billy?

Some Other Guy: He's at school.

McDonald: Oh yeah!

In light of the evidence before you, I trust you too will agree that Billy Madison is without doubt Sandler's best work. If you even mention Big Daddy or The Wedding Singer, please excuse yourself from the rest of the conversation and go home. I don't want you at my birthday party anyway.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 6/07/2005 0 comments