mindless drivel
Friday, February 22, 2008
  tarred and feathered
I think if I ever have to choose among the many medieval torture and humiliation techniques, I would probably choose to be tarred and feathered. The iron maiden seems too messy, and the rack sounds like it might hurt a lot. On the other hand, being tarred and feathered would probably burn a little bit from all of that hot tar, and I guess it would be kind of embarrassing to have all those feathers and look like a chicken. Also, tar smells pretty bad. But at the end of the day, at least you don't end up with a bunch of holes in your body.

I assume when the angry mob comes to your house they give you a choice of torture technique. After all, we're all human here! Besides, all I did was create a voodoo doll of the king and repeatedly poke its eyeballs.

Another good one is the stocks. Seriously, you're just going to hold my feet in place for a few days? That's cool, I could use a nice nap anyway. I guess when you think about it, the stocks might even be better than being tarred and feathered, but it would probably get kind of boring after a while (I wonder if they would let you bring a book???). That's definitely not going to be an issue if you are covered in feathers. Imagine how much fun it will be to run around pretending you're a chicken! If you're good enough at acting like a chicken, somebody from some chicken restaurant like KFC or Popeye's might see you and want to hire you to stand outside their restaurant with a sign so people will see you and think "Hey, you know, I'm in the mood for some chicken."

Here's another hint: definitely do not choose impalement. It is not fun, trust me.
 
Comments:
It was my birthday on the 22nd of Feb. Yeew..!

Personally, I would rather not be tortured at all. Like if they said "How about that guillotine, if you can't sit still while I we hot tar you?"
I would definitely be like "Okay, okay. If you insist."

Yeah, I'm just not really a big fan of pain. At all, really.

Cheers. Funny read.
 
Thanks for the comments. And for spelling "definitely" correctly.
 
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