General Motors, a wholly owned subsidiary of Aunt Suzie's Hallmark Store (located at the corner of 33rd and Main St in downtown Detroit), has announced plans to develop a small car to capitalize on today's changing market. A company spokesman stated, "We now believe that customers prefer the comfort and style of a really, really small car to the living-rooms-on-wheels we've offered them in the past."

As of early this year, General Motors' smallest offering was the GMC Yukon 3XL. Fortunately, GM has discovered that the once-popular SUV can quickly and easily be converted into a compact car with only minor alterations. The company has stated that the new vehicle will be available for purchase in less than three days.

Several GM brands will receive a version of the new small car. In order to evoke the "small" image, the cars will be marketed under the following names: Chevy Molecule, Pontiac Paramecium, Saturn Calista Flockhart's Biceps, GMC Scott Baio's Career, Buick Nickelback's Talent, Hummer Bill O'Reilly's Brain, Cadillac John McCain's Chances Of Winning The Presidential Election, Saab Brett Favre's Remaining Green Bay Packers Fanbase, Opel George W. Bush's Approval Rating.

A photo of the car is below.