the good ol' days As I quickly approach 30 years of age (t-minus 3 months and counting), I, like most civilized human beings with any soul whatsoever, yearn for a simpler time in my life. If you're a loyal reader of mindless drivel, you're probably thinking I'm going to say something ironic or weird, like when I was 1 year old or something. And while those were indeed good times (you get to do whatever you want, and if you do something stupid, it's "not your fault," you're "just a baby"), the time I really miss is my early 20's, just like everybody else out there.

But being the financial minded nerd that I am, I miss my early 20's not because of the endless wild parties (nobody invited me to these parties before I became a celebrity) or the ability to go days without bathing. No, what I really miss is the reckless abandon with which young working "adults" buy stuff. Case in point: when I was 22 I bought a car with a price tag equal to my entire annual salary. Not that I had a huge salary or anything, but let's just say when I was 22 I had standards. I would not have been caught dead in, say, a seven year old Honda Accord. And even though at 29 my salary is now three times what it was then, I'm currently driving...a seven year old Honda Accord.

Of course the standard argument for buying lots of things at this stage in your life is that you need stuff. You need to replace the milk crates currently doubling as book shelves. You need a new dresser because the floor at your last apartment ate through the feet. You need a 60 inch TV. You don't really have any expenses other than food, rent, magazine subscriptions, and beer. And if you're not a beer-drinker, well you're just plain filthy rich!

What happens is that when idealistic college students graduate from the "college world" to the "real world," that idealism transforms into arrogance. This arrogance is, of course, completely unfounded. How else can you explain defending car leases as a "good idea"? Your arrogance will cause you to make financial decisions that you will later deem as "stupid," "immature," and "reckless." But who cares? You don't think about the future, you live in the now! You don't have to be saddled down by retirement accounts, because you still think the government or your parents are going to take care of that for you. You buy TVs and stereos on credit because, "Hey, it's only $99 a month. All I have to do is work a few hundred hours of overtime a month and I get this kick-ass TV!" And Lord help us if you decide to buy a house.

So yes, I miss the post-college early working years. You get to buy all kinds of cool stuff that you can't afford. And thanks to easy credit for anyone, you never have to worry about paying for any of it. Nope, that's up to future you, aka Me.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 4/28/2006 0 comments

  gm and the dorky cars I think everyone is aware of the problems General Motors (aka The General) is having these days. Following only gas prices and Reggie Bush's Mama's house, it's the biggest story in the news! I don't claim to know the answer to all the company's problems, but I think that changing the company's name to "Troubled Automaker General Motors Corp" was not a wise move. I was not at the meeting during which this decision was made, but had I been there I would have recommended something a little more positive, like maybe "Leader in the Imminent War Against Robots General Motors Corp." Seriously, I dare you to find a single article about GM that does not refer to the company as "Troubled Automaker General Motors Corp."

While TAGM's issues were exacerbated by this name change, I can't help but feel a nagging suspicion that I am also personally responsible for the downfall. In my controversial post the 10 dorkiest cars back in October 2004, I named no fewer than four GM products to the list (five if you count the Suzuki Aerio. Is Suzuki owned by GM? Who knows?). While I can't claim to be Nostradamus (Nostradamus is dead, so making a claim that I was Nostradamus would be ludicrous! I am merely the ninth reincarnation of Nostradamus), I must note that the Chevy SSR and Buick Terraza/Pontiac Montana SV6 were poorly received by critics, and were only literally "received" by a small handful of buyers who all got HUGE discounts. In addition, Hummer H2 sales have been dwindling, along with its smaller, even dorkier (and at the time non-existent) sibling the H3. The Saab 9-7x, well, did they ever even make that? I've never actually seen one on the road.

My point here is that all the vehicles on my list had horrific futures ahead of them, almost as if I were the automotive Grim Reaper or something. And GM has suffered dearly for it. On the day I created the 10 dorkiest cars list, GM's stock price stood at $38.32/share. Today, GM stock sells for $23.11/share.

I am by no means a GM hater. In fact, until I had to sell it to finance my wife's (gulp) minivan, I drove a Saab 9-3 and I liked it (aside from the whole curse thing, of course). I also think that new Chevy Camaro Concept thing looks freakin' awesome! And if I had $757,000 worth of Reggie Bush's Mama's house to finance the gas for it, I'd seriously consider buying a new Chevy Tahoe.

GM just happened to have four (or five) very dorky cars in October 2004. So, Troubled Automaker General Motors Corp, I truly say to you, I'm sorry.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 4/26/2006 0 comments

  please don't sue me, letterman Top ten stupidest things overheard about the stock market in the late 1990's/early 2000's:

10. "It can't possibly go any lower."
9. "Buy low, sell high!"
8. "Pets.com? Why the hell not?"
7. "Dow 50,000 baby!"
6. "The market's down again? Yes, another buying opportunity!"
5. "100% annual return is normal, right?"
4. "You're either with us, or you're with the terrorists" (How'd that get in here?)
3. "I quit my job so I can day-trade full-time."
2. "Eight dollars, my man!"
1. "Enron Schmenron!"  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 4/26/2006 0 comments

  smelly post five things that smell really bad:
vomit
wet dog
smokers
fish
diapers

five things that smell really good:
Play-Doh
fresh coffee
Genuine Made-in-America Crayola (TM) Crayons
shaving cream
baby powder  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 4/26/2006 0 comments