one ipod > zero ipods Through some combination of freakish irony and dumb luck, I ended up with a free iPod. I didn't earn it, and I didn't steal it, nor did I receive it as a gift, but I most certainly did not pay for it. I won it fair and square, so there. And this after I publicly lambasted Apple and everything it stands for. However, no matter what disdain I hold for Steve Jobs and his evil Apple henchmen, I still must admit that one iPod is indeed greater than zero iPods, which is what I had the day before before yesterday.

Needless to say, my supply of iPods is now one iPod higher than my self-assigned iPod limit, and I must therefore restore iPod equilibrium by dispensing of the iPod and finding an acceptable solution to my present over-iPoddedness.

So now my only choice is what to do with the iPod, since I already went and bought a Rio Karma. I briefly flirted with the idea of putting the same songs on the iPod as the Karma, then listening to the Karma in the left ear and the iPod in the right ear, thereby creating some sort of funky quasi-AAC/WMA-Apple/Rio super-stereo effect. But I discarded the idea after I realized just how idiotic and pointless that would be.

I am completely willing to entertain any ideas you might have for my iPod situation. However, I am unlikely to simply smash the thing to bits or drop it off a 42-story building. I like to break stuff as much as the next guy, but not expensive stuff. At least not expensive stuff I own. And don't tell me to give it to you. I'm not that nice.

So send me your ideas for what I should do with the excess iPod. I just may take your advice. And if I do and it gets me in trouble, it's your neck on the line, not mine.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/25/2005 0 comments

  mindless It may be just me, but I get a special feeling inside when I see my very own little creation on the first page of results whenever I do a Google search for "mindless." I've created one of the ten most mindless sites on the entire Internet. I feel truly special indeed...  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/19/2005 0 comments

  the orange line Well, it appears that I'll be taking the Orange Line to work instead of the Red Line, at least until the Department of Homeland Security decides that it's relatively safe for me to go to work again. I think the Orange Line is a lot like the Red Line, only more vigilant. I've already posted about an abundance of nerds on the train, but now I'll have to start watching for terrorists instead. Remember when our biggest commuting fear was falling asleep, missing our stop, and waking up in strange parts of the city we never even knew existed? I miss those days...  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/07/2005 0 comments

  a new hope If you are one of my two loyal readers, you may recall a battle I had against a gang of evil ant thugs last year. Well, the ants scored a decisive victory over us and they eventually drove us out of our apartment. We fled to a nearby house that a mortgage company let us live in as long as we paid them every once in a while.

Well, we had been living in relative ant-less bliss for some time, until ant troops began to surface in various parts of our home. But it wasn't until a few days ago that I realized that the ants had constructed a Death Mound in our back yard. Fortunately, an ally was able to smuggle a copy of the plans for the Death Mound, allowing us to analyze it for potential weaknesses. It seems that the evil Death Mound is highly susceptible to attack by means of common Home Depot ant spray, but only when it is used in enormous quantities. Also, two sprays must enter a small opening in the Death Mound, which leads to the Mound's core, triggering a chain reaction that destroys the Mound from the inside out.

I knew it would take a true hero to follow through on such a plan, and there was only one place I knew I could find such a person. He was in the furthest reaches of the universe, in a galaxy far, far away, in the Dagobah System. I needed to find the evil Ant King's only son, who would obliterate the Death Mound, leading to a climactic duel between the evil father and his rebel son. Then I realized the Death Mound could be destroyed by anybody who shelled out the $12.99 for the ant spray at Home Depot. So I just did it myself.

The Death Mound was destroyed, but the ants inflicted major casualties upon our brave men. Well, okay, it was just me. Seven ant bites. Ouch. But there is, indeed, a new hope now. I'm certain the ants will regroup, under the dictatorial leadership of the mysterious Ant Emperor. They will probably even try to rebuild the Death Mound. The Ant Empire can strike back but will never prevail.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/06/2005 0 comments