mindless drivel
Friday, October 20, 2006
  a poem about poems
I never could get into poetry much.
I was never that good at the rhyming and such.
It seemed to consume all my free time each day
Interpreting words that Bill Shakespeare did say.

I majored in English for some silly reason
I found it to be unrewarding, not pleasin'
But chemistry got to be really damn hard
And English allowed me to let down my guard.

But majors in English still have time to do
The things of which science nerds don't have a clue,
Like sleeping, and eating, and summer and fall
And of course most importantly: college football!

The irony's something I know I can't shake
That I tell you this all in a poem for Pete's sake!
My actions are something I can't justify;
Poems are worse than needles in my eye.

But if you have gotten this far in the post
You're probably going to read at least most
But if you gave up you will miss the best part
'Cause I ended the thing with a naughty word: "fart."
 
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
  a letter to google
Dear Google,

I recently heard that you are shelling out a serious chunk of change to buy YouTube, a web site that features videos ranging from guys getting hit in the crotch to people giving personal tours of their tool collections. Naturally, I would like to know: how I can I get some of that green?

Granted, mindless drivel is no YouTube. YouTube is a collection of worthless videos no one wants to watch, while mindless drivel is a collection of worthless words no one wants to read. Therefore, I propose that you, Google, Inc., purchase mindless drivel for the sum of $1.4 Billion. Yes, that's right, a $250 Million discount compared to the $1.65 Billion you just paid for YouTube! What a bargain!

While you think that over, consider just a few of the wonderful things already on mindless drivel: a list of the best and worst smells, a collection of eclectic links, a list of the best baseball names, poetry about TV shows, and much, much more! And who knows what's in store for the future??? A list of the best and worst sounds? Poetry about some other stuff? Maybe something about Paris Hilton? Only one person knows, and that be me.

In conclusion, I heard that you were shelling out big money for stupid web sites, and I just wanted to remind you that I gots one of them. The end.

Sincerely,

monger187
 

Observations from a guy who no longer lives in Texas and really doesn't have very much free time.


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