Friday, July 14, 2006
monger187 and the bee
Well, okay, so I haven't been updating the blog with anything about myself lately (or much of anything at all, really), so here's a little anecdote about something that happened on the way to work today:
For those of you who don't know, and that would probably be just about all of you, I finally rid myself of the 1999 Honda Accord. I realize that by telling you my current automobile, I open myself up to all sorts of hateful comments like, "Ew, you drive that?" or "I used to respect you, but now I'm not so sure" or the simple, yet effective "You disgust me." If you haven't guessed by now, I now drive a Scion xB. Yes, the boxy one. So if you're in the Minneapolis area and you see something that looks like a giant white toaster going down the road, it just might be me.
But I digress.
Apparently I am not the only one who appreciates cars that resemble large appliances. Yesterday I was driving home with the windows down. You can do that around here. Even on days when everyone seems to think that it's so freaking hot that they are going to spontaneously combust. I keep telling people that 90 degrees in July is not that hot, and if they want to experience hot, they should spend a nice 8 month long summer in Dallas and see what real hot is like. Or maybe put themselves in the oven for a few months: same effect, only you don't have to drive as far.
But I digress. Again.
Anyway, when driving with one's windows down, one opens oneself up to all sorts of risks. Like dirty looks from people who don't like to listen to KMFDM nearly as loud as I do. Or car jackers. But also, insects.
Well, it seems that large, fuzzy, scary bees with huge stingers and evil in their hearts also enjoy loud KMFDM. One such evil bee decided to hop into my car and go for a ride. Maybe he mistook it for a refrigerator and thought there would be some nice fruit juice inside or something.
Anyway, after having a nice rest in the car overnight, the bee decided to wake up right when I was speeding down the highway. Well, okay, "speeding" doesn't accurately describe what I was doing. More like doing 15 mph, stuck behind some lady in a 20 year old Buick with a golden retriever in the passenger seat.
Well, the evil bee must have known that this was the absolute worst time to make an appearance. He knew that one false move and the fruit juice-less refrigerator would be floating down the Minnesota River. So this is when he appeared, buzzing around and creating a commotion, causing my heartbeat to immediately double, and turning the cool, calm, collected guy that I am into a 13 year old girl having a hissy fit, swatting desperately at the air and flailing mercilessly at anything and everything. Then I opened the window.
Well, the bee left straight away (I always wanted to try saying "straight away" - it just sounds so, well, British). I think I may have looked so stupid with my girly flailing that he instantly became embarrassed to be in the car with me. Well, whatever, I don't even care. Stupid, stuck-up bee. Who needs him anyway? ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/14/2006
For those of you who don't know, and that would probably be just about all of you, I finally rid myself of the 1999 Honda Accord. I realize that by telling you my current automobile, I open myself up to all sorts of hateful comments like, "Ew, you drive that?" or "I used to respect you, but now I'm not so sure" or the simple, yet effective "You disgust me." If you haven't guessed by now, I now drive a Scion xB. Yes, the boxy one. So if you're in the Minneapolis area and you see something that looks like a giant white toaster going down the road, it just might be me.
But I digress.
Apparently I am not the only one who appreciates cars that resemble large appliances. Yesterday I was driving home with the windows down. You can do that around here. Even on days when everyone seems to think that it's so freaking hot that they are going to spontaneously combust. I keep telling people that 90 degrees in July is not that hot, and if they want to experience hot, they should spend a nice 8 month long summer in Dallas and see what real hot is like. Or maybe put themselves in the oven for a few months: same effect, only you don't have to drive as far.
But I digress. Again.
Anyway, when driving with one's windows down, one opens oneself up to all sorts of risks. Like dirty looks from people who don't like to listen to KMFDM nearly as loud as I do. Or car jackers. But also, insects.
Well, it seems that large, fuzzy, scary bees with huge stingers and evil in their hearts also enjoy loud KMFDM. One such evil bee decided to hop into my car and go for a ride. Maybe he mistook it for a refrigerator and thought there would be some nice fruit juice inside or something.
Anyway, after having a nice rest in the car overnight, the bee decided to wake up right when I was speeding down the highway. Well, okay, "speeding" doesn't accurately describe what I was doing. More like doing 15 mph, stuck behind some lady in a 20 year old Buick with a golden retriever in the passenger seat.
Well, the evil bee must have known that this was the absolute worst time to make an appearance. He knew that one false move and the fruit juice-less refrigerator would be floating down the Minnesota River. So this is when he appeared, buzzing around and creating a commotion, causing my heartbeat to immediately double, and turning the cool, calm, collected guy that I am into a 13 year old girl having a hissy fit, swatting desperately at the air and flailing mercilessly at anything and everything. Then I opened the window.
Well, the bee left straight away (I always wanted to try saying "straight away" - it just sounds so, well, British). I think I may have looked so stupid with my girly flailing that he instantly became embarrassed to be in the car with me. Well, whatever, I don't even care. Stupid, stuck-up bee. Who needs him anyway? ¶ monger187 wrote this on 7/14/2006
