mindless drivel
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
you might be an american if...
- You get winded walking to the kitchen
- You think $2 million for a 300 square foot bungalow qualifies as a sound investment
- You feel strongly that the United States has a child obesity problem, but your child's "self esteem" is too important for you to tell them that they need to go on a diet
- The last book you've read from start to finish was "Hop on Pop"
- Your financial "emergency plan" consists of Chapters 7 and 13
- You're currently stalking Britney Spears
- You spend more money than you make
- Your car seats nineteen adults comfortably
- You've ever blamed anything on "The Man"
- You spend $6.00 for your daily cup of coffee but think $2.79 for a gallon of gas is outrageous
- You think that Uggz Boots make a good fashion statement
- You've ever considered a career in "Day Trading" or "Real Estate Investing"
- You bathe at least once a day
- You consider Paris Hilton to be a role model
- You think everything tastes better fried
- You can recite an entire Eminem album word for word
- You've sued a large corporation at least once in your life
- You pay money to a stockbroker just so you'll have someone else to blame
- You think professional wrestling is real
- You think professional wrestling is entertaining
- Your self worth is determined by the amount of money you spent on your car
- There are eight or more Starbucks within a five mile radius of your home
- Your plan for retirement is to make millions on your house
- You currently lease a Cadillac Escalade or Hummer H2
- You cant' spel, and you're grammar are horrendous
- You own a 4000 square foot home but still think you "need more space"
- You think South Korea is a member of the "Axis of Evil"
- Your idea of fine cinema is "Big Momma's House"
- You can't do simple math, even with a calculator
- You can never remember if the "World Cup" is golf or tennis
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
acura rsx, an elegy
RSX
You are a car
That Acura makes
But they are not
Going to make you anymore
After this year
Because Honda decided
To take Acura "upscale"
To try to "take on BMW."
I guess BMW probably makes
A lot of money or something
Because car companies
Are always trying to
"Take on BMW."
If you ask me BMW is nothing but
A rolling status symbol
For over-financed, unimaginitive wannabes
RSX
You used to be called the Integra
And you still are except in America
And Canada I think.
They changed your name
Because a made up word apparently wasn't as good
As a set of three random letters
At least not for Americans and Canadians
RSX
I've never owned you
But I did buy an Integra GS-R in 1998
Then six years later
I did something really stupid
And traded it in for a Saab
RSX
You are being replaced by the Honda Civic Si
Which is an okay car I guess
But I still have a special place in my heart for you
RSX
RSX
You are a car
That I was probably going to buy
If they redesigned you
Because your current model
Has been out forever
And I wanted a nice fresh new one
But now stupid Honda
Is going to lose my business
Because they decided they wanted to
Become another BMW wannabe
So now I'm sending my money to
Toyota
RSX
You no longer fit into Acura's "brand strategy"
Because Acura feels the best way
To "take on BMW"
Is not with a quick, light, fun sports car
But with an ugly "luxury SUV" whose front end
"Looks like some fat guy's face
With 2-3 potatoes stuffed in his mouth
As he tries to smile with his eyes closed"*
RSX
You have 200 horsepower
But only if you pony up the cash
To get the Type S
Otherwise you only have 155
RSX
You went away
Before I could get to know you
My butt will never be held in place by
Your sport bucket seats
And my forehead will never become sunburned
From driving with your sunroof open
My kids will never be squished
Into your backseat
My climate will never be controlled by you
And you will never tell me how to get to the nearest White Castle
(Navigation System optional)
RSX
I will miss you
RSX
*Quote is a comment from "Kowell" at Autoblog.com, regarding the Acura MD-X Concept ¶ monger187 wrote this on 6/06/2006 1 comments
You are a car
That Acura makes
But they are not
Going to make you anymore
After this year
Because Honda decided
To take Acura "upscale"
To try to "take on BMW."
I guess BMW probably makes
A lot of money or something
Because car companies
Are always trying to
"Take on BMW."
If you ask me BMW is nothing but
A rolling status symbol
For over-financed, unimaginitive wannabes
RSX
You used to be called the Integra
And you still are except in America
And Canada I think.
They changed your name
Because a made up word apparently wasn't as good
As a set of three random letters
At least not for Americans and Canadians
RSX
I've never owned you
But I did buy an Integra GS-R in 1998
Then six years later
I did something really stupid
And traded it in for a Saab
RSX
You are being replaced by the Honda Civic Si
Which is an okay car I guess
But I still have a special place in my heart for you
RSX
RSX
You are a car
That I was probably going to buy
If they redesigned you
Because your current model
Has been out forever
And I wanted a nice fresh new one
But now stupid Honda
Is going to lose my business
Because they decided they wanted to
Become another BMW wannabe
So now I'm sending my money to
Toyota
RSX
You no longer fit into Acura's "brand strategy"
Because Acura feels the best way
To "take on BMW"
Is not with a quick, light, fun sports car
But with an ugly "luxury SUV" whose front end
"Looks like some fat guy's face
With 2-3 potatoes stuffed in his mouth
As he tries to smile with his eyes closed"*
RSX
You have 200 horsepower
But only if you pony up the cash
To get the Type S
Otherwise you only have 155
RSX
You went away
Before I could get to know you
My butt will never be held in place by
Your sport bucket seats
And my forehead will never become sunburned
From driving with your sunroof open
My kids will never be squished
Into your backseat
My climate will never be controlled by you
And you will never tell me how to get to the nearest White Castle
(Navigation System optional)
RSX
I will miss you
RSX
*Quote is a comment from "Kowell" at Autoblog.com, regarding the Acura MD-X Concept ¶ monger187 wrote this on 6/06/2006 1 comments
