mindless drivel
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
  no tan man
I'm so freaking happy! It's taken over thirty years, but I've finally discovered my super-power! Don't get all excited, not everybody has a super-power, so if you're just some schmo out there reading this, and chances are pretty good that you are, you probably don't have a super-power at all. But somehow I just always knew that I had one, I just didn't know what it was...until now.

My super-power is that no matter how much time I spend in the sun, I neither burn nor tan. At all. Two hours in the sun last weekend, and I still resemble Casper The Friendly Ghost - only without the goofy smile. Before you start getting all crazy and telling me that this is not a super-power, get over it, your jealousy is not flattering. Let me explain how this super-power can be used to capture villains and other ne'er-do-wells. Consider this: it's a really sunny day and a bad guy has just robbed a bank. He's heading out to his getaway car, but remembers that the weather man had warned of unusually high UV levels today. So he stops to slather on some SPF 30 sunscreen. That's when I nab him!

Or how about this: I'm at the beach when a bad guy steals some stuff from somebody's beach towel. Probably like some car keys or expensive sunglasses or something? Who cares, it's not important to the story. He runs off, and I'm in hot pursuit. The bad guy is in pretty good shape, so I can't really catch up to him. (Come on, if I could run really fast, wouldn't that be my super-power?) But after a while, bad guy starts to feel a slight burning sensation on his neck, ears, and arms. Within just sixty short minutes, the burn starts to become even more painful. Another hour later, and bad guy is badly sunburned, and the running motion is so painful he just can't run any more. Meanwhile, aside from being totally exhausted from two hours of running, I'm perfectly fine. That's when I nab him!

So far I haven't been officially asked to join The Justice League, or The Liberty League, or The League of Nations, but I figure that the official offers are on their way. After all, what group of crime-fighters, super-heroes and other freaks of nature would be complete without a man whose skin does not respond normally to the sun's rays? I'm also quite handsome, so that should help with the movie posters and whatnot.

How did I get this super-power? I'm not sure. Maybe after so many years in Texas, my skin is like, "What, you call this sun? Please." Or maybe it was from that tub of toxic chemicals I fell into when I got into a fight with Batman. I may never know for sure.

My super-power also comes in handy when I fall asleep by the pool.
 
Comments:
I laughed a lot with your "super power". I thought I had the same power too, but my husband and I came to Dallas and I... started to have color, and something like a tan! It's SO sunny!

So, Texas killed my superpower, OMG! lol.

Have a nice week.
 
Post a Comment

<< Home

Observations from a guy who no longer lives in Texas and really doesn't have very much free time.


go home!
Amazon Wish List
Amazon Reviews!
gmail monger187!

some ads!


Chitika!


Dallas Real Estate
San Antonio Real Estate

george burns old
worst smell list revised
things i hate
saab curse resolved
more car stuff!
breaking news
the first annual lame list
i wrote this on 1-8-7
it is what it isn't
i live and breathe
names or faces

methuselah old
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
May 2009

blogroll

Blogroll Me!

some other stuff
Chris Rose Leather Design
Chuy's
Deep Thoughts
The Smoking Gun
Wikipedia Random Article

even more stuff
Atom Site Feed
Who Links Here



Add to Google


Listed on BlogShares

Where's George?



hey, a clever emdee button!

legalese
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
counters