throwing up chainsaws If there's one thing in this world that truly boggles my mind, it's people that juggle chainsaws. I was pondering this while tossing and catching my pen repeatedly. I must admit, I'm pretty damn good at catching my spinning pen. I may even be one of the best in the world. But even I drop one every once in a while. And if I drop a pen, it's not that big a deal. I just pick it up and throw it against the wall in furious anger, smashing it into a thousand pieces.

But consider for a moment the chainsaw jugglers. Okay, don't even think about the fact that there are literally billions of jagged, fast-moving teeth. Just consider the fact that these chainsaw things are pretty heavy, awkwardly shaped, and there are three of them for crying out loud! Now add in the jagged, flesh-tearing teeth, and we have a pretty serious stunt right here. Jumping over a few buses on a motorcycle? Child's play compared with the chainsaw jugglers.

So what it all boils down to is that these people are willing to bet their left hand, right ear, and any other appendages that may get in the way, that they can catch the chainsaw every single time. There are no mistakes here, no second chances. You miss once and your chainsaw juggling days are over. Your living days may be over, too

Perhaps what's most puzzling about the chainsaw jugglers is that the reward is just not that high, compared with the spectacular risk. I bet they only get paid about a million dollars a year. And there's very little fame to go around. They hardly ever make the cover of Field & Stream or Good Housekeeping. In fact, I dare you to name the top five chainsaw jugglers in the world. I can only name three.

So my hat's off to the chainsaw jugglers of the world. My hat will be off as long as your various appendages are not.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 3/07/2005