Monday, January 09, 2006
my car has an anus
I'm loving Minneapolis so far. We had our second snowfall since I've been here and my first bizarre random event! It was so exciting.
If you are one of the two loyal readers of this blog, you might know that I sold the Saab several months ago and am now driving the, um, uh...oh yeah, Accord. If you're me, you can't remember whether or not you told the blog that you sold your Saab. I did. It was fun. Yay. Anyway, I had figured that getting rid of the cursed Saab would appease the "bizarre car gods," and that all inexplicable car events would forever be in my automotive past. I was wrong.
I realize that many of you have found this massive collection of cynicism called mindless drivel via DFW Blogs, so many of you may not be familiar with snow. Here's a brief introduction: it's this fluffy, white, cold stuff that falls out of the sky. You typically only get snow when the temperature falls below at least 80 degrees, so obviously it is physically impossible in Texas. Snow is kind of like rain, but colder and fluffier. And for you same Texas people, let me give you a brief introduction: rain is this wet stuff that falls out of the sky. Maybe you'll see it one day.
But I digress. Another wonderful thing about snow is that it collects on almost anything left outside, including roads, pets, television sets and, yes, cars. Some people have discovered that snow provides an excellent medium for writing things. For reasons unknown to anyone who is not a bizarre car god, someone at my apartment wrote "ANUS" in the snow on both my hood and my trunk. Normally, I would simply chalk this up to the countless enemies I have, many of whom feel I am an undesirable body part of some sort, but I can't for the life of me explain how I could have forged such spiteful relationships with people to whom I have only spoken two words: "hey" and "hi."
Besides, "ANUS" just isn't really a very good thing to write on a stranger's car. If you want to write "PARKING SPACE STEALER," "FLOOR STOMPER," or "BLAND CAR DRIVER," I could certainly understand your legitimate complaints. But I just don't feel that "ANUS" works for me.
So, to whomever wrote "ANUS" on my car: I hope you enjoyed writing it, because the joke was lost on me. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 1/09/2006
If you are one of the two loyal readers of this blog, you might know that I sold the Saab several months ago and am now driving the, um, uh...oh yeah, Accord. If you're me, you can't remember whether or not you told the blog that you sold your Saab. I did. It was fun. Yay. Anyway, I had figured that getting rid of the cursed Saab would appease the "bizarre car gods," and that all inexplicable car events would forever be in my automotive past. I was wrong.
I realize that many of you have found this massive collection of cynicism called mindless drivel via DFW Blogs, so many of you may not be familiar with snow. Here's a brief introduction: it's this fluffy, white, cold stuff that falls out of the sky. You typically only get snow when the temperature falls below at least 80 degrees, so obviously it is physically impossible in Texas. Snow is kind of like rain, but colder and fluffier. And for you same Texas people, let me give you a brief introduction: rain is this wet stuff that falls out of the sky. Maybe you'll see it one day.
But I digress. Another wonderful thing about snow is that it collects on almost anything left outside, including roads, pets, television sets and, yes, cars. Some people have discovered that snow provides an excellent medium for writing things. For reasons unknown to anyone who is not a bizarre car god, someone at my apartment wrote "ANUS" in the snow on both my hood and my trunk. Normally, I would simply chalk this up to the countless enemies I have, many of whom feel I am an undesirable body part of some sort, but I can't for the life of me explain how I could have forged such spiteful relationships with people to whom I have only spoken two words: "hey" and "hi."
Besides, "ANUS" just isn't really a very good thing to write on a stranger's car. If you want to write "PARKING SPACE STEALER," "FLOOR STOMPER," or "BLAND CAR DRIVER," I could certainly understand your legitimate complaints. But I just don't feel that "ANUS" works for me.
So, to whomever wrote "ANUS" on my car: I hope you enjoyed writing it, because the joke was lost on me. ¶ monger187 wrote this on 1/09/2006
