Wednesday, January 12, 2005
the evil toyota camry people
Why is it that when I'm driving to work and back, I always get stuck behind some moron who drives about 10 miles per hour below the speed limit, or takes 10 seconds to react to a green light? And they seem to take the term "stop sign" a little too literally. You are supposed to stop, but after you stop, you're supposed to go again. Maybe the sign people need to redesign the stop sign so that it reads "STOP, then go again."
My point here is not to complain about my commute. Lord knows, If you want to read about my drive to and from work, I've written plenty of blog posts to fill you in on that. My reason for writing is that I have noticed something strange, almost eerie, about the people who get in my way: they all drive Toyota Camrys. Without fail, every person who gets in my way, preventing me from getting to the parking garage with enough time to navigate through the maze of parking spaces, prefers the Toyota Camry as their vehicle of choice. Even the lady that ran the red light and tried to hit me yesterday was driving a Toyota Camry.
I do not intend to offend all Toyota Camry drivers out there. I realize that the odds are approximately one in eight that if you are reading this, you yourself drive a Toyota Camry. There's some good people who drive Toyota Camrys, including Eddie Van Halen, Bette Midler, and Nelson Mandela. No, I believe the cause of my problems goes much deeper than the simple fact that Toyota Camry people can't drive.
The obvious answer is that there is some sinister group of evil people whose sole mission in life is to make me spend more time in my car. For whatever reason, they want me to be late for work in the morning and late for dinner in the evening.
I have not yet determined with any certainty who is behind this group or what purpose they have in delaying my traveling activities. My best guess is that it is the Blue Man Group. I should have never called them a "natural disaster." I was wrong. There is nothing natural about a group of men who paint themselves blue and bang on stuff.
Whoever is behind this, one thing is certain: they got a nice bulk discount on all those Camrys.
¶ monger187 wrote this on 1/12/2005
My point here is not to complain about my commute. Lord knows, If you want to read about my drive to and from work, I've written plenty of blog posts to fill you in on that. My reason for writing is that I have noticed something strange, almost eerie, about the people who get in my way: they all drive Toyota Camrys. Without fail, every person who gets in my way, preventing me from getting to the parking garage with enough time to navigate through the maze of parking spaces, prefers the Toyota Camry as their vehicle of choice. Even the lady that ran the red light and tried to hit me yesterday was driving a Toyota Camry.
I do not intend to offend all Toyota Camry drivers out there. I realize that the odds are approximately one in eight that if you are reading this, you yourself drive a Toyota Camry. There's some good people who drive Toyota Camrys, including Eddie Van Halen, Bette Midler, and Nelson Mandela. No, I believe the cause of my problems goes much deeper than the simple fact that Toyota Camry people can't drive.
The obvious answer is that there is some sinister group of evil people whose sole mission in life is to make me spend more time in my car. For whatever reason, they want me to be late for work in the morning and late for dinner in the evening.
I have not yet determined with any certainty who is behind this group or what purpose they have in delaying my traveling activities. My best guess is that it is the Blue Man Group. I should have never called them a "natural disaster." I was wrong. There is nothing natural about a group of men who paint themselves blue and bang on stuff.
Whoever is behind this, one thing is certain: they got a nice bulk discount on all those Camrys.
¶ monger187 wrote this on 1/12/2005
