my fantasy football team was called the unmentionables I finished 6-9 in my fantasy football league this year, missing the playoffs and ending the season in misery and shame. Below are some lessons I've taken away from my 2004 fantasy football misfortunes:

1) Don't trust anything they say about Chris Brown. If they say he's healthy, he will sit out with a career-threatening injury, like turf toe or something. If they say he's injured, he will rush for 150 yards and two touchdowns. This happened to me several times this year, and I did not like it.

2) PICK PEYTON MANNING!

3) Don't ask your wife to join your league, as she will surely win the league even though she has never played before, humiliating you and your "years of fantasy football knowledge and experience." I think this applies to girlfriends, too.

4) No matter who my opponent has on his team, they will always have career days when they play against me. It could be a backup offensive lineman, and he will still somehow end up with 200 rushing yards and three touchdowns.

5) Strive for mediocrity, it's less disappointing when you don't win.

6) All of my best players will have horrific season-ending injuries in the first quarter of the first game of the season.

7) Michael Vick is overrated. I learned this from my friend Greg, whose team also sucked.
  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 1/04/2005