Wednesday, November 17, 2004
my final jeopardy question
You know that part of Jeopardy where Alex comes over and chats with the guests? Me neither. That’s what the fast forward button is for. But occasionally I hit the button too soon and I have to listen to a few seconds of this blather. These people have fifteen seconds to tell the most intriguing story of their entire existence, and it always ends up coming out like this:
Alex: “It says here that you once spent over two hours in an airport?”
Jeopardy Contestant: “Yes, that’s right, Alex. My plane was supposed to show up in gate 15, but it ended up landing in gate 19 due to a scheduling change. I had to walk all the way to gate 19.”
Alex: “Fascinating. Now pick up your signaling button.”
It’s easy to sit here and make fun of these people and say how boring their lives must be. But then I start to wonder, “What would it say on my card?” I mean, honestly, how many of our lives feature moments that are interesting when told in fifteen second summaries? There are only a few people who have mastered the fifteen second life accomplishment:
Sir Edmund Hillary: “I was the first person to climb Mount Everest.”
Albert Einstein: “I devised the Theory of Relativity.”
Mike Tyson: “One time I bit a guy’s ear off.”
Imagine how hard it is for Ken Jennings, the guy who has won like 385 times in a row, and counting. It’s gotten to the point that he is now interviewing Alex. “Alex, it says here that you get all the answers off the card and belittle the contestants by pretending to actually know the answers.” “Pick up the damn signaling button, KenJen.”
So now I challenge all of you loyal blog readers and other various visitors. Come up with a sentence, fifteen seconds or less, that completes the following: “(Jeopardy Contestant), it says here that you _________.” Post a comment with your answer. The winner will not be determined by anyone, and will therefore get nothing but the joy of having participated in something great. One day you might be on Jeopardy and have to fill out the card. You’ll thank me for preparing you.
¶ monger187 wrote this on 11/17/2004
Alex: “It says here that you once spent over two hours in an airport?”
Jeopardy Contestant: “Yes, that’s right, Alex. My plane was supposed to show up in gate 15, but it ended up landing in gate 19 due to a scheduling change. I had to walk all the way to gate 19.”
Alex: “Fascinating. Now pick up your signaling button.”
It’s easy to sit here and make fun of these people and say how boring their lives must be. But then I start to wonder, “What would it say on my card?” I mean, honestly, how many of our lives feature moments that are interesting when told in fifteen second summaries? There are only a few people who have mastered the fifteen second life accomplishment:
Sir Edmund Hillary: “I was the first person to climb Mount Everest.”
Albert Einstein: “I devised the Theory of Relativity.”
Mike Tyson: “One time I bit a guy’s ear off.”
Imagine how hard it is for Ken Jennings, the guy who has won like 385 times in a row, and counting. It’s gotten to the point that he is now interviewing Alex. “Alex, it says here that you get all the answers off the card and belittle the contestants by pretending to actually know the answers.” “Pick up the damn signaling button, KenJen.”
So now I challenge all of you loyal blog readers and other various visitors. Come up with a sentence, fifteen seconds or less, that completes the following: “(Jeopardy Contestant), it says here that you _________.” Post a comment with your answer. The winner will not be determined by anyone, and will therefore get nothing but the joy of having participated in something great. One day you might be on Jeopardy and have to fill out the card. You’ll thank me for preparing you.
¶ monger187 wrote this on 11/17/2004
