fortune cookies are yummy This past weekend I was made aware of a scourge on our society that must be addressed. We're being duped by a major source of information and we have been looking the other way for far too long. Yes, we have a serious fortune cookie problem.

We open fortune cookies looking for answers about the future. We want to know something personal, something we couldn't find by any other means. There was a time we could crack open a fortune cookie and count on finding this information. For me, this was the only way to really find out if I was going to ace that test next week, find favor in the eyes of that special someone, or die a horrible, violent death on the way home from the restaurant. These days are apparently over.

Last weekend I paid a visit to my local Pei Wei Asian Diner, at 3412 E Hebron Parkway, Carrollton, Texas, at the corner of Hebron Parkway and Midway Road. Pei Wei offers authentic Asian cuisine and a pleasant dining experience suitable for the whole family, all at a reasonable price. The service was spectacular, and the food was amazing. That's Pei Wei Asian Diner, at the corner of Hebron and Midway in Carrollton.

Although the food was indeed savory and delicious, the fortune cookies were lacking. Opening the fortune cookie is always my favorite part of any Chinese restaurant excursion, but this time I was highly disappointed. It was some sort of truism about good friends always being there when you need them or something. "Good friends will stand by you when times get tough." Something like that. Yes, okay, very true. Good friends are good to have around. They beat the pants off bad friends or enemies any day of the week. But what will happen to me in the near future? Will I find true happiness by discovering a coupon for Lucky Charms that never expires? Will I be invited to attend a royal banquet as a special guest of the Sultan of Brunei? What? What?!?!?

If you're not going to predict my future, I say you have no business in my cookie. If you really don't know my future, just say so. I would be disappointed if I opened a fortune cookie that said, "We're not really sure what the future holds for you. You might just have to wait and see. Sorry about that." Or even if you took the magic 8-ball approach and said, "Outlook hazy, try again later." Sure, I would be disappointed, but at least I would respect you. Just be a man about it. Or just be an oracle, or a vision, or whoever or whatever it is that comes up with these cookie messages.

So, in summary, I kind of need to know my future. If the cookie doesn't know, I don't have anywhere else to turn.  ¶ monger187 wrote this on 5/31/2005